Monday, December 26, 2011

When doubt comes over for dinner...

There are some days when my confidence is soaring. Anything could come my way and I will believe in my dark soul that I will manage it and maybe even come out on top. I sort of enjoy making decisions when I feel this way because I don't second guess myself.

And then, who decides to show up, unannounced, acting like they own the place??

Doubt with fear tagging along and they've brought a big 'ol heaping container of Crappioca pudding with a good helping of what the hell was I thinking? on top.

I suppose I wouldn't mind so much if there was a phone call first, a text, an email, something! But no, not so much.

This happens to me often when I get an idea for the wedding and I squeeeeeel it all over the place to L and want her to be as excited as me and it doesn't happen. Half the time, even more than that, I can't even get my idea out before she's entirely confused and I'm left feeling super stupid. Of my own doing... I'm aware.

The other day, I came across this post from Equality Wed called "12 Beauty Resolutions for a 2012 Wedding". I read it and thought, right on! We're doing good! Then I got to the last one, the last resolution... and I beamed.

Resolution 12: I will love myself 
Learn to accept and love yourself the way you are—spider veins, flabby arms and all. If you don't know how amazing you are and look, just ask your fiance/e. They'll be able to give you a long list.

It was exactly what I needed to boost my failing confidence. Of course, I want to share it with L and that has yet to happen. Just too many other things happening. I hope someday!