Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I feel like a freak.

Our details meeting went great! Our venue is awesome, we get to work with three fantastic coordinators, it's going to be amazing! Why, then, do I feel iffy?

Everything the coordinator asked us about we had to answer with an explanation or at least be ready with an extended response. Please don't get me wrong, this has nothing to do with the venue or the coordinator. They've gone to the trouble of changing all of their paperwork to say Bride and Bride, even Bride 1 and Bride 2 - which cracks me up because it reminds me of Dr. Seuss Thing 1 and Thing 2. This post isn't about how they made me feel bad, they didn't. These are my own personal thoughts and observations. As much as I love our venue, and what our wedding is and will be, I still feel like a freak every time I have to explain it.

Even to my own mother!

Just a while ago, we went to a baby shower. We got to hang out with an old friend of L's who used to shoot weddings. She actually photographed L's first wedding. L's friend used to work with another woman who did wedding photography and had a very successful business. This woman came up to us to say hello and how are you. I guess L hasn't seen her in 10 years. She starts asking about our wedding, the colors, the flowers, the this, the that. And we answer her. Her response was shock and I would almost bet that there was a hint of distaste. It was right after this that she so arrogantly informed us that if we didn't have a photographer, to look her up. Before we could even answer, she was walking away, clearly not interested in our answer unless we were chasing her down to beg her to shoot our wedding. I left that conversation feeling like a freak.

We aren't having any flowers aside from the center pieces the venue is providing. No boutonnieres or bouquets or flowers in the hair. The honor party of awesomeness will have ribbons for our Handfasting tied to their wrists.

Speaking of the HPA... They aren't standing with us. We've designated a front row, separate from the guests, where they will sit during the ceremony.

We're all wearing Chucks in rainbow colors.

Up until a week ago, L and I were both wearing pants. I might have to wear a skirt but I am bummed the fuck out about it. I really want to wear pants!

L's shirt is custom made. My corset is custom made.

Our entrance is going to be awesome and it isn't coming down the isle. Neither of us have family members 'giving' us away. Oh, and we're coming in together. 

This list goes on and on and you know what? I have to explain all of these things to people and they look at me like I'm a freak. I think this may be why I don't talk about my wedding too much. We have friends, another lesbian couple, who were getting married but now they are eloping. When they started planning their wedding though, they were planning a more traditional route. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. At. All. However, even with two women getting married, they got less of that look because they were heading down the traditional path.

That is what makes me feel bad. That when I talk about my -not traditional in anyway- wedding, I get those looks. You know the looks...

And what I really want to say is eff off. But I don't... I just change the subject, feeling like a freak.