Thursday, April 19, 2012

This! This! This!

My advice for offbeat brides: Weddings will bring out the best and worst in your friends and family members. Be ready for this. Your wedding can be a time to invest in your relationships and bring your friends and family together. Or you can be bullied and pushed around. Don't be afraid to stick up for yourself. Planning a wedding is a journey, so respect the process, and learn as much as you can about yourself, your partner, your biggest supporters, and how you all work together.

I've said this a million - gazillion times but, I am a lifetime member of Offbeat Bride and I love it. That tribe has given me friends that I hope to have for a long, long time. Hell, I hope to meet them in person too! While perusing the site, I came upon a post about photographers not showcasing offbeat brides or any other type of bride/couple that isn't white, pristine, and well off. There were several comments and I was reading through them. Often, when commenting, the person will post a link to something that is significant to what they are saying or it might be a reference. One bride did just this and it was her own wedding that was featured on the site that she posted the link to. I, being the me that I am, clicked the link to see the awesomeness that is another wedding featured. As I'm scrolling, I come to the part that says - My advice for offbeat brides:

I was so in agreement with that statement, especially after today, that I couldn't even form words. I rambled and stuttered some stuff that was something like yeah, uh, uhhhh, ugh, yes!

This wedding is for sure bringing out the best and worst of people that I thought I knew well. Knowing this causes me so much sadness and anguish because I thought these said people were my friends. And close friends, enough to call them family! I wasn't ready for this. I wish I had been. At first, I did let people push me around. I don't anymore.

Traveling a journey has sort of become an unwritten theme in our lives. Planning this wedding isn't any different. It is a journey and we are learning more about ourselves as individuals, as a couple, as parents, as friends, and as our roles as family members. Sometimes, that's a good thing and it confirms that we are doing the right thing. And yet, some other times, it's a slap in the face or a punch in the stomach that turns to tears streaming down the face uncontrollably.

We learned in those circumstances to pick ourselves up, dry off the tears, and move on.