Monday, August 20, 2012

A few thoughts.

Before I get into the wedding, which IS coming next, I thought I'd express some of those 'hmm, not what I thought' thoughts.

Seriously, there are so many things that I wish we could do over. Doesn't that suck? I mean, I'm supposed to LOVE my wedding day. Right??? I DO LOVE MY WEDDING DAY. However, I do feel it is important to get these thoughts off my chest. Maybe by doing so, it will lay them to rest. Forever. Well, that's my hope, anyway. If it doesn't, I'm planning another wedding. Just kidding, kind of.

~ I wish that L and I had gotten ready together. We didn't have much by way of a Maid/Maiden of Honor, by our own choosing, of course. The people we picked for the Honor Party of Awesomeness were chosen to be equal. There was no one above the rest. That being said, we didn't really have any one interested in doing or participating in 'Bride' activities. Not even our own children. So, we did everything together. I think, aside from our gifts to each other, we made every decision together. We got our hair/makeup trials done together. We had our Hen party together. It was WE all along. Why then, did we think it was a good idea to separate at the last moment? Not sure. So I wish we had been together the whole time. I am 100% positive that when it is legal and we can have our legal ceremony, we will be in each others' company the entire time.

~ I wish I had felt that 'This is the one' when it came to my clothing. I shouldn't have worn a corset. I shouldn't have worn that skirt. I gave measurements that I thought would help me feel beautiful. I don't look at the pictures and say, damn, I look good! I see everything ugly. And although I am fully aware that this is my issue, it's still something that haunts me. If you recall, I think I posted 8, 9, or 2000 posts about our clothes. 75% of that was from me. I just wanted to feel beautiful and I didn't.

~ I wish I had spent the money on removing the old color dye from my hair and leaving my hair down. Or at least, having a half up do. Even though it still looked okay, by hour 2 my hair had fallen out of my pins. No one noticed but me but that's the point. *I* noticed. Speaking of hair, I wish L's hidden Mickey would have been able to be seen better. Her hair is dark and we put a black ribbon clip in it.

~ I wish we had been able to have a longer time to celebrate. It was over so fast. Four short hours from beginning to end. Although we all had a great time, I wish it had gone on longer.

~ When we were planning, L said she wanted only one thing on our wedding night. One thing - for us to sleep side by side. No matter where the other laid to rest, have the other lay there also. Guess who failed at the #1 job as wife? Me. I fell asleep with the boys in one room while L slept in a WHOLE other room. I paid for it too. Not only did I have a rockin' hangover AND disappointed my wife, but I got a nice drawing on my face. Luckily, the pictures they took didn't make it to the interwebs.... Lesson learned? Sleep next to your wife on your wedding night. No matter what.

~ Right before our Grand Exit for the night, I freaked out because people weren't moving outside of the venue. I was SO afraid that we were going to be charged extra for being there later than our contract. Rational fear, right? Well, I moved up to this area higher than everyone else and I started yelling and whistling. Loudly. I'm sure it was annoying. It annoyed me. I was freaked out and it showed. :/

~ The guest list. That's all I'm going to say. Everyone knows what a struggle it is when planning something this big. Cost really does put a damper on that list. Oh, and space.

Okay. I need to explain that I am not complaining. I am absolutely not complaining. We worked our asses off to make that wedding happen and it was fucking amazing.

These thoughts are just my after thoughts, if you will. My 'hmmm, wish I hadn't or had done that' thoughts. They in no way imply that my wedding day was the worst day of my life. It wasn't. Very far from it.

I'll write more about my feelings about the wedding itself, what it felt like after, and all of that good stuff in another post. Thanks for reading.